I'm sitting here at a cafe, working on a 'Personal Statement' and surrounded by a guy itching his ear with a banana, a young couple hotly debating what morality means, an artist who has been doing amazing sketches all morning and a few less noticeable people with their coffee, laptops, cell phones, newspapers etc.
So that's the scene.
And I'm minding my own business with my coffee, my yellow Maggie's Place shirt on, a stack of "important papers" to go through, job applications to check on and trying to put together a 500 word narrative of my life when this guy who just planted himself at the table in front of me approaches:
"Excuse me, what's Maggie's Place?"
Confusing his tone with sincerity, I answer, fully engaged: "It's a non-profit that I used to volunteer for that runs homes for pregnant women."
"OH, oh yeah..."
I again confuse his tone, this time for familiarity: "Oh, have you heard of it?"
"You should get Palin there." "yeah?" "Yeah, she'd be a great advertisement."
At this point I'm a bit confused, thinking: "Does he mean because she's 'pro-life?' Oh wait maybe he's referring to her daught..."
"What's your opinion of abstinence-only education?" "I don't have a fully-formed opinion about it yet..." I hadn't finished my sentence yet, which was going to include that it should at least be included as legitimate and not just laughed at like it was by my pervert high-school teacher, but I'm interrupted:
"Well, Palin's all for it, and she's got a 17-year old knocked-up daughter. Abstinence-only and her daughter is knocked-up!! But don't worry, she and her boyfriend aren't going to have sex anymore until they get married." (Sarcastic tone accurately noted).
This time he is the one confused. He thinks the incredulous look on my face has to do with the facts he has laid out so plainly to me, but actually it's because until this last part I was so naive that I thought he actually wanted to engage in a conversation, and only just realized that he really is just being arrogant, presumptuous and obnoxious. I'm burdened about how best to reply, but relieved of that when he triumphantly proclaims "I don't make this stuff up! It's in the news!!" and walks away muttering "It's in the news! It's in the news!!"
ARGHHH!!!