Baby Momma... and other thoughts on language

Language is endlessly fascinating: the way each person uses it differently, how much it changes, the way it reflects or causes changes in thought....

So last night I was in class and overheard a classmate complaining to her friend about how much she "hates her nephew's baby momma." Her friend interrupted the rant: did she mean her nephew's mother or the mother of her nephew's baby?

The first girl was irritated; her nephew is only five. "So you mean your nephew's mother?" "That's what I said, my nephew's baby momma- it's the same thing."

Her face showed that she thought the second girl was obviously stupid for having to clarify the point.

So 'baby momma', long free of that possessive 'S', isn't used here to show a relationship, but to emphasize the lack of a relationship. It's her nephew's (baby momma) not her nephew's baby(imagine the "'s") momma. The woman is a 'baby momma'. Her choice to refer to her in the most indirect term underlines her hatred for her, but it also tells us a lot about the relationship (or lack thereof) between the two women, so even though it is incorrect in a way, it is also more expressive.

Earlier in the evening I overheard another conversation about hatred. A girl in the cafeteria complained "Oooohh... I hate her so much!! Everytime I think of her she pisses me off!!" How is this possible?

Ladies, where is the love (of language)?

Felt lucky to be alive, though...

So yesterday I was driving to class in my sister's car when suddenly the Bronco in front of me drove full-speed into a parked truck.

That's right 'parked' and 'full-speed.' There was no curve in the road, the truck wasn't parked at an angle...nothing. She was just driving, then drove off into the truck.

I thought "She must be high" and switched lanes quickly, noticing the fearful and disturbed looks on the faces of everyone on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, I had to immediately get back into the right lane since the next light was where I had to make a turn. Wary that she was high, I looked into my rear-view mirror and sure enough she is swerving in reverse away from the truck.

At this point I am surrounded by cars that are either parked or stopped at the light, so there is nowhere for me to go. We are all just sitting there stopped, but obviously, this hasn't affected her braking patterns before. All I can do is watch my impending doom coming at me in the mirror, with the front of her car smashed and her windshield wipers going nuts (it wasn't raining).

In those few split seconds, I begin a Hail Mary and take a deep breath, remembering that it helps you to absorb the impact more if your body is relaxed. "Okay, I'm about to get crashed into...stay calm."

Thankfully, at the last moment she swerves at an insane speed onto a road going off at a sharp angle just behind my car.

Phew.

The road she turned onto is still in the general direction I am headed, so I drive in a semi-paranoid fashion hoping she doesn't come flying at me again. I arrive safely with a sense of exhiliration and renewed gratitude at life...and I cross the street very carefully.

I've been duped...

I'm sitting here at a cafe, working on a 'Personal Statement' and surrounded by a guy itching his ear with a banana, a young couple hotly debating what morality means, an artist who has been doing amazing sketches all morning and a few less noticeable people with their coffee, laptops, cell phones, newspapers etc.

So that's the scene.

And I'm minding my own business with my coffee, my yellow Maggie's Place shirt on, a stack of "important papers" to go through, job applications to check on and trying to put together a 500 word narrative of my life when this guy who just planted himself at the table in front of me approaches:

"Excuse me, what's Maggie's Place?"

Confusing his tone with sincerity, I answer, fully engaged: "It's a non-profit that I used to volunteer for that runs homes for pregnant women."

"OH, oh yeah..."

I again confuse his tone, this time for familiarity: "Oh, have you heard of it?"

"You should get Palin there." "yeah?" "Yeah, she'd be a great advertisement."

At this point I'm a bit confused, thinking: "Does he mean because she's 'pro-life?' Oh wait maybe he's referring to her daught..."

"What's your opinion of abstinence-only education?" "I don't have a fully-formed opinion about it yet..." I hadn't finished my sentence yet, which was going to include that it should at least be included as legitimate and not just laughed at like it was by my pervert high-school teacher, but I'm interrupted:

"Well, Palin's all for it, and she's got a 17-year old knocked-up daughter. Abstinence-only and her daughter is knocked-up!! But don't worry, she and her boyfriend aren't going to have sex anymore until they get married." (Sarcastic tone accurately noted).

This time he is the one confused. He thinks the incredulous look on my face has to do with the facts he has laid out so plainly to me, but actually it's because until this last part I was so naive that I thought he actually wanted to engage in a conversation, and only just realized that he really is just being arrogant, presumptuous and obnoxious. I'm burdened about how best to reply, but relieved of that when he triumphantly proclaims "I don't make this stuff up! It's in the news!!" and walks away muttering "It's in the news! It's in the news!!"

ARGHHH!!!

Edith Stein

Since her feast day was yesterday:


"God is there in these moments of rest and can give us in a single instant exactly what we need. Then the rest of the day can take its course, under the same effort and strain, perhaps, but in peace. And when night comes, and you look back over the day and see how fragmentary everything has been, and how much you planned that has gone undone, and all the rasons you have to be embarrassed and ashamed: just take everything exactly as it is, put it in God’s hands and leave it with Him. Then you will be able to rest in Him -- really rest -- and start the next day as a new life."

"During the time immediately before and quite some time after my conversion I ... thought that leading a religious life meant giving up all earthly things and having one's mind fixed on divine things only. Gradually, however, I learnt that other things are expected of us in this world... I even believe that the deeper someone is drawn to God, the more he has to `get beyond himself' in this sense, that is, go into the world and carry divine life into it."

Glacier...

Gail, Ramona and I took two days off to head up to Glacier National Park for one last adventure before I leave the Northwest. We didn't plan things out too carefully...just got directions, found out the cost of a campsite, borrowed a friends equipment- and away we go!! (Bears? Soap? Sunscreen??)

On Tuesday morning we woke up early, drove up, arrived awed by the beauty of Montana in general- especially Glacier National Park itself- and then did a 4.5 mile hike before heading back to the campsite to 'chillax' (play cards, roast marshmellows etc.)

The next morning we couldn't get our stove to work, so we ended up trading a bag of brownies for two mugs worth of hot water (we REALLY wanted some tea!!) Then we packed our things and then headed up to Logan Pass, elevation: 6646 ft., (right on the continental divide) to do a longer hike. We realized at every turn why people seemed shocked that we were only staying one night...most stay for about a week in an attempt to absorb all this beauty. It is an incredible place.

I was insistent on doing a 'bigger' hike and from 'up high' so we could see more. This ended up being 11.6 miles through the Rockies...BEAUTIFUL!! And difficult! Especially since the last 4 miles were all "downhill" (quotations to indicate understatement!) and had no shade since almost the entire face of that mountain had been burned in a fire from 2003. I should also mention that the campsite eight miles in had no running water, and I only had a half-liter bottle of water. DOH!! (Hydration?)

When we got to the bottom we waited for a shuttle to take us along the 16 mile road back to where our car was. After an hour and a half of waiting and seeing about seven shuttles heading down the mountain while only two already-full ones had come up, I decided to hitch. A young guy in a pick-up stopped and offered the back of his truck. He was instantly my favorite person in the world, so the three of us hopped in, followed by four others who had been waiting with the crowd and amid cheers from people waiting to go down who had been rooting for me while I hitched. ("Pick her up!!")

So despite not being able to move to well today, and the worst sunburn I can remember having, I think I can speak for all that it was in incredible trip and will be a joy to think back on.


Here is a shot of a mountain goat that came walking down the trail- it's fuzzy because I barely had time to grab my camera after jumping out of its way. (Note- my camera is not zoomed in at all!)



There was much to meditate on while hiking in mountains on the Feast of the Transfiguration. Also, it occurred to me while walking across the snow that last August I was walking across snow in the Andes, now here I am in the northern Rockies. Next August??

"Rise, and do not be afraid."

Recent endeavors...

By the way, here is progress on the garden:
I can't claim credit for this; it has become Ramona's project...I only water it occasionally! The sweater is not done yet, but I will definitely put a picture up as soon as it is- maybe by next winter??










Also, I've joined up with some other young gals to create a blog about John Paul II's Theology of the Body lectures. We are going through the text and posting about it each week. If you are interested in checking it out or following along: http://bloggingthebody@blogspot.com I definitely think it is an amazing contribution to the Church and born of the Holy Spirit, though I can't promise this blog being the best introduction if it is your first...

We live in Idaho??

I know I've neglected my blog for a long time; I guess a normal thing would be to sum up the past few months by way of 'coming back' but I'm not up for that now.

Instead, here is a shot from where Liz & I went biking in the Snake River Canyon. BEAUTIFUL!!
As we rode, we're like "Can you believe we are both biking together in Idaho??" (Technically, we were in Washington, but you get the point...) I think we will never get over it. Sadly she is leaving at the end of the month for warmer (and swampier) climes, so we only have a few more weeks for such opportunities.

Here's to good friends and summer adventures!

Mom's Visit!

My mom came to visit last week! It was a very quick trip, but really good to see her and show her the house and a few highlights of Northern Idaho!

Here we are at Cataldo Mission, the oldest church in Idaho built by the Jesuit Missionaries and the Coeur d'Alene tribe. You can just walk right into the Church, which is beautiful and sits high on a hill like a king on a throne. We also checked out Wallace, an old mining town and learned all about mining. Other than that, we mostly hung around in Coeur d'Alene and had fun together, despite the snow!

Latest Projects

So, since The Mary House is requiring a lot of patient waiting, I thought I'd update you on some other things I've been working on. They are far less important, obviously, but it does help a lot to have something enjoyable to work on and create since this has been the longest winter of my life! Don't get me wrong, there is still plenty of work to do for The Mary House, but what do we do when we are not working??

KNIT!
(Hold the old lady jokes, please!)
The first is my knitted sweater:

It doesn't look like much, but it is HOURS and HOURS worth of knitting. So far I have the back and half of the front done. I'll post it again when it is completed (don't hold your breath!) We watch movies or listen to books on tape a lot, so I knit along with that. So far we've listened to "Love Among the Chickens" by P.G. Wodehouse, The Hobbit and now we are making our way through The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I don't remember who recommended Wodehouse, but he is really funny, so that was a good discovery. Also, I had read the Hobbit before, but I really like it- it's a good inspiration for the adventures of life. Now I am finally reading (okay, listening to) the Lord of the Rings, which has been on my list for a while! I also listen to Hebrew or Arabic language tapes once in a while by way of getting ready for my trip to the Holy Land- only three more weeks!!

Also, the weather is slowly getting better. This week we've had three nice days in a row!! So our leaky roof was finally able to be fixed and we started preparing land to put in a garden.

A quality I hadn't noticed in myself has recently emerged: I like to dive into huge projects and skip all the smaller projects that normal people would do leading up to it. Example number one: I went straight from knitting basic scarves to a huge sweater. Example number two: I wanted to make our garden huge, and I have never gardened.

Gail is helpful in bringing me back down to earth sometimes so we settled on this as a good size, even though its still big. We have a lot of people willing to help us with things, so we'll see how it goes!! I've been reading up on gardening organically, companion planting etc. Yesterday I planted some seeds inside; hopefully they'll grow. We won't be able to plant much for at least another month (It was still snowing last week and is predicted to snow again Thursday and Friday!. Everyone looks at a particular mountain in town and when there is no snow left on that mountain, that's when they plant their gardens. By the looks of things, there will be no gardening whatsoever this year!

In other news...we went biking in the Snake River Canyon with Eric and Liz this weekend. It was GORGEOUS!! Unfortunately, we all forgot our cameras, so you'll just have to believe me!

Mountain Lions and Desert Fathers

We went on retreat this weekend! Thanks to a generous couple, we were allowed to stay at a beautiful lodge for free. We were way up in Clark Fork, Idaho...a tiny, tiny town right next to the Bitterroot Mountains which create the Montana border. It was stunningly beautiful and the weather was too.

A special feature of the lodge was an assortment of stuffed animals (not the cute kind) in the kitchen. Most striking was this mountain lion. There were also deer- one which I slammed my head into as I stood up from rearranging chairs- DOH! (a deer! a female deer!)Anyway, it was a little hard to eat with these things staring at you...for a variety of reasons!

Another key feature of the weekend was reading quotes from the Desert Fathers; I think this was the first I had ever read from them. We mainly read from Pope Benedict's writings (so beautiful and profound!!) but at night we would go through sayings of the Desert Fathers as if they were fortune cookies. Here is an example:

"Abba Anthony said 'I saw the snares that the enemy spreads out over the world and I said groaning, 'What can get through such snares?' Then I heard a voice saying to me, 'Humility.' "

aahhh...good stuff.

SO, we left feeling very nourished, comforted, renewed, more aware of the beauty of Idaho, and very sure that we are not into taxidermy.

Thoughts on Divine Mercy

The feast of Divine Mercy was last Sunday, so I thought I'd pay tribute... even if it is a week late!

This feast was recently instituted in 2000 by John Paul II at the canonization of St. Faustina- a humble Polish nun who the Lord chose to reveal Himself to to spread His message of mercy for the whole world. St. Faustina recieved many revelations from our Lord which she records in her diary: "The Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska: Divine Mercy in My Soul." I've read this twice, and would benefit from reading it twenty-thousand more times. (In other words, I recommend it!)

Unfortunately, I don't have this book with me now, but I thought this month's Magnificat piece "The Breakthrough of Mercy" by Fr. Richard Veras had some points worth retelling:

Fr. Veras points out that all of us relate to a lack of trust in Christ's mercy. Why is this? Because we are finite beings and mercy is infinite, thus it is beyond our mentality. We are quite merciless to ourselves and those around us, so we find it difficult to believe in and trust in His mercy for us. Fr. Veras reminds us of the Book of Revelation where the devil is referred to as the "accuser" who "continually accuses us of our sins, looking only at our finite actions and denying that they can be conquered by infinite love." We comply with this lie since Christ's infinite love is so far beyond our imagination- but Christ came not to condemn, but to save!

We need to experience mercy, Fr. Veras emphasizes, rather than just have the idea of it. Because of our finite mentality, we must be reminded continually of merciful love by having it breakthrough to us from others. Two primary ways are through the sacrament of confession and in true Christian friendships.

We (I) must develop a more merciful attitude toward ourselves and others, stemming from a deep awareness of the Lords merciful love for us. St. Faustina was told to always conclude her prayer (The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, now our prayer too!) with "Jesus, I trust in You!" We have to remember to trust in the Lord- that He loves us, forgives us and desires great things for us.

St. Faustina died in 1938 and so her life overlapped with JPII and he knew of her as a young priest. It is just awesome to look back at history and think about what the Lord was working in these souls and how He gave such gifts to the world through them. It is awesome too, to think about what the Lord desires to work in our souls.

The Church gives us these handy to do lists to carry this work out:

Convert the sinner

Instruct the ignorant

Counsel the doubtful

Comfort the sorrowful

Bear wrongs patiently

Forgive injuries

Pray for the living and the dead

Feed the hungry

Give drink to the thirsty

Clothe the naked

Shelter the homeless

Visit the sick

Visit those in prison

Bury the dead

And finally, this prayer from the Chaplet:

"Eternal God, in whome mercy is endless, and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments, we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submitourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself."

I live in Idaho now...

"We are the young, our lives are a mystery"

I’ve included a map, for "those people out there in our nation who don’t have maps," but more so for you, my dear friends and family, who have been unclear whether it is Ohio, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, any Midwestern state or any other state beginning with a vowel that I’ve moved to. No: it is Idaho. (This is in the Northwest, if you’re still struggling to place me; I recommend Miss Teen South Carolina for a compassionate friend).

There are new chapters in life, and sometimes they involve a quite drastic change of setting, cast of characters and an unpredictable plot. This is the case with me now. This blog will serve primarily as my narrative for some of these daily intrigues, stories, and adventures with a few illustrations thanks to my snazzy new digital camera.

As I try to cultivate better habits of mind I may also, on occasion, use my blog as a place to flesh out a thought, try my hand at writing, comment on some recent inspiration etc. I promise you I have no pretentious intentions in this. A very good friend immediately announced to me that she’ll never read it when I told her of my idea last night; this insults me none at all and does no damage to the friendship. But if you do enjoy it, enjoy it!

Since it is common to comment on the weather when one has nothing left to say, I’ll leave you with this picture of the house taken today, so you’ll pity me for still having snow at the very end of March. We’ve had over 130 inches of snow this winter, shattering the average snowfall of 66.7 inches and breaking the 1915-16 record of 124.2 inches. Pretty exciting stuff, until it comes time to shovel. Behold, The Mary House: